


If my secret had a secret would your secret be negated or would it grow instead?

by Merlioske



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: ABO, AU, Alpha Merlin, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Arthur learns about Merlin's magic, Bonding, Bottom Arthur, Canon Era, Gaius Attempting to Parent, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Magic Revealed, Mates, Mating, Meaning a Dick of Epic Proportions, Merlioske-friendly, Omega Arthur, Protective Merlin, Top Merlin, Uther being Uther, confused arthur, hurt Arthur, spoiler - he fucking fails
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-14 18:41:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28800015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merlioske/pseuds/Merlioske
Summary: Arthur had always trained to be the best. He did his work, then did some more and then more still. Yet, his father's eyes never glowed in pride. He was never... Good enough. Never strong or fast enough. Never Alpha enough. He had accepted it. Accepted, that, being born a beta, a beta *Prince* he'd have to work all that much more to prove his worth. He had. But why was it so hard?Merlin never had it easy. But he had his mam, he had his Will and screw the rest, really. Except then, out of the blue, Puberty hit. Now Merlin has it *worse*. Camelot is /not/ a smart place to be. For a secret sorcerer. For a secret, peasant sorcerer. For a secret, peasant, *Alpha* sorcerer. But, well, he'll just keep his head down, learn a healing trade and nothing bad will happen.wHaT cOuLd pOsSibLy gO wRoNg~orUther's a dick, Gaius is a doormat for *his* king, Arthur suffers needlessly and Merlin pulls a Merlin because he's Merlin and cannot be anything else but what he is.
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 74
Kudos: 133





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> as usual, my biggest of thank yous to the glory that is [Pelydryn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pelydryn/pseuds/Pelydryn) for a gorgeous beta job. <333 i'd be lost without you <333

~x~

It took the king of Camelot three days to see his son after he was born. When he finally did, after the entombment of his wife, his eyes still red and uncharacteristically puffy, the first thing he did was sneer.

"What is the meaning of this, Gaius?" Uther Pendragon growled, the chambers quickly filling with a suffocating scent of a furious alpha.

The baby in the crib, sensing his sire's rage, began to cry softly.

Gaius, the Court Physician to the Kingdom of Camelot, shuffled over to the fussing newborn and shushed him soothingly, patting the child's belly since he, being a beta himself, lacked the pheromones to do it by scent.

"Gaius, I asked you a question!" Uther roared, and the baby screamed, absolutely terrified little wheezes coming out from his quickly purple little face.

"Sire! Peace, you're frightening the child!" Gaius admonished, physically shielding the newborn prince from his enraged father now.

Uther snarled and twisted away, taking a few steps and crossing his arms across his chest. "Explain."

Gaius sighed, straightening. He smoothed the blankets over the slowly calming baby and walked over to his king, leading him further away. "Strong negative emotions influence newborns especially hard, Your Majesty, I must insist…" he offered in explanation, and the king nodded, visibly reining in his temper.

"How is this possible, Gaius? How? I mean both me and Ygrai---" the king choked, his queen's, his mate's, passing far too fresh on his mind.

The Physician sighed. "I… I am not sure, sire. It is possible that because of the circumstances of his conception---"

Uther interrupted him with a snarl. "Nimueh! The witch betrays me further still!" Gaius frowned at his king. “Sire, that is highly unli---”

“No! I knew there was something she wasn’t telling us! I knew but--- heir--- and Ygrai---” he snarled again, his entire frame shaking. Behind them, the baby was beginning to fuss again. “Gods damn that woman straight beyond the Veil!” The king roared, making the window panes shake in his fury.

The Court Physician sighed and herded the king out of the nursery as respectfully as he could manage.

Uther stopped before reaching the door, however, and turned on his heel to face the Physician. “No one can know, Gaius.”

“No one will, sire, we’ll make sure of it.”

Uther stepped closer, his hands clenching on Gaius’ forearms with significant strength. “ _No one_ , Gaius, not even him.”

Gaius blanched. “Sire… are you sure?”

Uther’s eyes sparked with rage. “Are you questioning your king, physician?”

The older beta paled, dropping his gaze immediately. “No, sire, never.”

“Good. I’ll leave this… disgraceful situation in your hands then.”

Gaius bowed. “Yes, sire, of course. I won’t let you down.”

“See that you don’t.” The king nodded regally and left in a twirl of a scarlet. With a sigh, the old Physician turned and shuffled back towards the crib, where, with the stifling alpha pheromones gone from the room, the newborn Prince had finally stopped fussing.

“Oh you poor, sweet darling boy… I am so, so sorry…” Gaius whispered, a solitary tear running down his already withered cheek.

With one last mournful look, the Physician tucked the newborn in and left for his chambers, he had research and brewing to do.

~x~

When Merlin was born, no one was more surprised by _what_ he was born as than his own mother. Even the magic, strong and exasperating as it was, paled in comparison.

It was… Astonishing. Unheard of, really. It was also probably one of the main reasons why the villagers were all so… wary of him. Even as a child, the only one who didn't distance himself from him was Will. Will was… Also special, in his own way. In the way of not giving one, single flying fuck about what _anyone_ thought. Merlin, needless to say, adored Will to bits.

They were both in their fifth year when Will's father died. Will's parents, just like Hunith, Merlin's mam, were betas. That, however, did not save Will's mum from following her husband soon after due to a broken heart. And so before either of them could really even comprehend the concept of death, they both ended up with a brother, for Hunith took one look at the tear streamed faces of the two boys and instantly took Will in. As if having to raise a magical alpha boy hadn't been enough. But, well, Hunith always did love a challenge.

~x~

Arthur couldn't understand it. He trained twice as hard as the other knight-aspirants. He worked his fingers till they bled, he pushed his body till his muscles burned, he trained and trained and _trained._ Far longer than anyone else.

And yet. The other knight-aspirants got broader, gained muscle mass as easy as sneezing, grew stronger and stronger and their growls grew louder and more threatening. Meanwhile Arthur… just… Did not.

"Gaius." After much deliberation, Arthur went to the only parent-figure he had ever known. Knocking on the door to the physician's chambers with confidence, the Prince had waited, far more politely than his station dictated, to be called in. He never showed such courtesy to anyone else, as it was not expected of him, but to Gaius… Well. Arthur trusted Gaius explicitly. He trusted Gaius above all others, probably even above his own father.

"Yes? Oh, Arthur, m'boy, come in, come in!"” the Physician called him cheerily, and Arthur took a steadying breath, and made sure he didn’t slouch and stood strong and proud and… his lip did _not_ tremble.

“Gaius…” Arthur’s voice was quiet, and try as he might, he couldn’t _quite_ hold the shaking out of it. “What is _wrong_ with me?” he forced out before, oh by all the gods, his vision blurred and hot, shamed tears began gushing down his cheeks.

“Oh, my sweet darling boy… Oh, Arthur…” Gaius sighed, and wrapped the sobbing Prince into his arms.

It took awhile for the old beta to soothe the grieving youth enough to get any coherent information out of him, but when he did, he was afraid there wasn’t much he could do. Arthur’s questions had merit - even for a beta, his physical development was unusual, and the Prince, being a bright thing, far brighter than the king ever gave him credit for, noticed. He knew there had to be a reason, _any_ reason, he didn’t even care about _what_ it was at this point. All he cared about was what he could do to _fix_ it. To fix _him_. But there was nothing Gaius could say, could do, even, to help him. After all, he had given _his_ king his oath.

Arthur left, feeling disappointed and devastated. But he was the Prince of Camelot and as such, he had no right to give into despair. He forced himself into feeling determined instead and went straight back to the training fields.

The king watched his son swing his sword over and over again at the training dummy, gazing at the youth from a window.

“He’s been to you, has he.”

The Court Physician nodded solemnly. “Yes, Sire.”

The king of Camelot hummed. “What did you tell him?”

Gaius sighed. “Nothing, Sire. Only the usual platitudes.”

The king nodded. “Good. He mustn't find out about his… condition.”

The Physician frowned, but did not rebuff his king’s words.

A moment of silence later, Uther glanced over his shoulder and huffed. “What is it, Gaius?”

“It’s just that… he’s almost sixteen, Sire.”

The muscle in Uther’s jaw jumped. “And?”

“And,” Gaius gulped before continuing “well, he’s… maturing and---”

With a scowl and a low growl, the king turned on his heel, his eyes sparkling in rage. “Spit it out, Physician.”

Gaius nodded. “I was just wondering if you were planning on telling his highness anytime soon. Because otherwise I would have to start making him a special… tonic to… prevent the---”

“See to it,” the king interrupted, and Gaius swallowed a sigh. Those tonics were not meant to be used as the king had obviously expected them to be used. Especially without the knowledge of the one taking them. Alas, this was his king, and Gaius would not betray him.

That night, Gaius delivered a vial to Arthur’s bedchambers.

“Gaius? What is this?”

The Prince asked, taking the vial and sniffing the liquid inside curiously. There was trust on his face, complete and absolute, and Gaius’ heart broke for the sweet young Prince.

“It’s a… tonic, Your Highness. I’ve done some thinking about what you came to see me about and thought… this might help.”

“Really?” Arthur exclaimed, excited, and Gaius couldn’t hold his gaze, his guilt eating away at him.

“Your father approved, so… You should take it every night before bed from now on.”

Arthur nodded seriously, cradling the vial in his hand as if it was precious. “I will not forget, Gaius. _Thank you_.”

There was such relief in Arthur’s voice, Gaius almost caved. Almost. But loyalty prevailed, and with a nod, the Court Physician left.

~x~

Merlin's arrival to Camelot came with many, _many_ challenges (like deadly assassins and imprisoned, hidden dragons, and clotpole princes, who seemed to have made it their mission in life to bug and annoy him, not to mention ridiculous and unfulfillable sounding prophecies) and many new things and experiences and --- many new secrets too.

His mam, before showering his face in kisses and sending him off, had made him promise to be careful. Careful to the extreme, as it turned out, when she pressed a pouch into his hand with a fearful but resigned expression.

"My darling boy. It'll be easier this way, don't you see?" she asked, her hands feeling small in his. He felt them tremble, and he sighed inwardly.

"I'll be fine, mam. I promise. And… If I see that I can't get away when the time comes, I'll use it. I won't make any problems for Uncle Gaius."

His mam gave him a look filled with such relief, Merlin huffed.

"If it means that much to you, here, look." His eyes flashed golden and when he motioned for her to scent him, her eyes widened in surprise.

"What'd you do?" Her voice sounded alarmed.

Merlin shrugged. "Hid my scent. This way, I'll blend in easier, no?"

Hunith's eyes softened and she patted his cheek. "Thank you, darling."

Merlin had smiled, determined to keep this as yet another secret and left for his new life.

Needless to say that, as such, Merlin was quite adept at the language of secrets at the point of his arrival. So when Gaius had first given him a vial of the Prince's nightly tonic and instructed him very, _very_ carefully about how to deal with it, Merlin had simply nodded and accepted his new task. Gaius was no spring chicken, after all, and making the trip to the Prince's chambers each night must have been much more tiring to him than to Merlin.

Merlin being Merlin, however, was as curious as can be - not to mention an exceptionally quick study. These traits combined meant that soon enough Gaius' medical lessons, and Merlin’s independent reading (scrolls and books had been scarce in Ealdor, meaning Gaius’ library was a treasure trove for Merlin; he spent each minute free from his demanding master squirreled away absorbing every word) had Merlin questioning a lot of things. The 'tonic' being one of them.

“Say, Gaius?” Merlin started, nonchalantly, grinding up some peppers with a pestle to be used in an _enhancing_ potion that Merlin really, _really_ didn’t want to think about.

“Hmmm?” the old Physician, head buried in a book, hummed inquiringly, and Merlin shook his head in fond exasperation. He was _so_ getting Gaius those new and improved eye-looking-glass-thingamajigs he had seen in the marketplace.

“What’s in that tonic you have me bring Arthur every night?” he asked as indifferently as he could manage. He saw Gaius shoulders tense before the old beta turned to pin him with a glance, his eyebrow so high up it almost disappeared into his hairline.

“Why are you asking?” Gaius's voice sounded… Merlin frowned. He sounded careful, wary even.

Merlin shrugged, eyes firmly back onto the pepper he was grinding. "Oh you know… He's my _master,_ so I figured I should probably know if there’s something wrong with him. Gods know he’s hard enough as is to keep alive without some ailment making my job even more difficult.”

He thought he sounded reasonable and confident and just the right amount of exasperated, but Gaius just shook his head.

“No no, nothing like that. It’s just a strengthening tonic.”

Merlin’s head snapped up, but Gaius was already busying himself over at the other side of the desk. Merlin hummed, his eyes narrowing when Gaius couldn’t hold his gaze. “But he needs it every day,” Merlin pushed, choosing his words with care. “And I know you make it for him daily. What if, gods forbid, something were to happen to you? Or what about when we go out on all those quests and patrols and” he made a face “hunts? There’s bandits and creatures abundle. What if a vial broke and I had to make him some on the go? Shouldn’t I know where to find the recipe, at the least? I’ve been your apprentice for a few months now and I’ve been helping mam back home for years. Surely I can be trusted with making my master’s tonics for him? Not to mention… It’d ease the burden on _you._ ” Merlin finished, wincing internally. _Might’ve overdone that last bit a touch..._

“Practised that a lot, did you?” Gaius had turned back to face him, his arms crossed across his chest, eyebrow raised in amusement.

Merlin gave him a one-shouldered shrug. “So I worry. It’s no secret. But, Gaius, you know how he is.”

Gaius hummed in consideration. “And I also know how you are, yes… Maybe, this is not such a bad idea. I’ll---”

But before he could finish his thought, a soft, soothing bray of ‘ _ **MER** LIN!’ _rang out through the castle, making Merlin huff out a sigh and Gaius chuckle.

“Go, boy, destiny bellows.”

Merlin snorted, shook his head and grinned before footing it through the door when Arthur roared his name again.

" _Mer_ lin! Finally, where on earth were you?" Arthur growled, stalking up to his manservant as soon as he was in his sight.

Merlin blinked before grinning sunnily at his Prince. "With Gaius. Had to help him out with a few things and was just asking him about your ton---"

Arthur slapped a hand over Merlin's mouth, eyes wide and looking around wildly to ensure they were alone in the corridor. "Ugh, you've no concept of discretion do you, Merlin? I swear you couldn't keep a secret if your life depended on it!" Completely exasperated, Arthur turned on his heel and stalked away, motioning for Merlin to follow.

Merlin followed his Prince, a wry grin on his face. _If only you knew, **sire** , if only you knew…_

For example. It turned out, Hunith needn't have worried after all - Merlin had begun using the pouch she shoved upon him almost as soon as he arrived in Camelot. Why, one may ask? Well, apparently, because such was Merlin's fate, that the Prince of Camelot was his - wait for it - _mate._ Which, for one, shouldn't even be possible. For two, hello, Prince?!? But as it was, Merlin found that he wasn't even all that surprised. It was hard to be, what with considering that tiny little fae creatures, such as the Sidhe, and not-so-tiny creatures, such as Dragons, were a permanent fixture in his daily life. Why, then, _wouldn_ 't his mate be a Prince of a kingdom that hated Merlin's kind with a fierce sort of determination. Who, by the by, was also a _beta_.

Merlin, obviously, won at life. Obviously.

~x~


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thank the magnificent [Pelydryn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pelydryn/pseuds/Pelydryn) for a gorgeous beta job. <333

~x~

“Here.”

Merlin raised a wary eyebrow at the little piece of parchment Gaius was holding out for him in a wrinkled hand. “What…?” Was all he managed - Arthur had him run off his feet that day. The fact his rut was attempting to make itself known not helping matters any.

Gaius frowned at him disapprovingly, but in all honesty? Merlin simply, well, did not _care_. Finally, the old beta huffed a sigh and motioned at the parchment. “It’s the Prince’s tonic.”

That got Merlin’s attention _fast_. “Oh?” He opened up the folded piece and blinked. “I---”

“It’s the list of ingredients and the recipe you are to follow _precisely_ in order to make it. I wrote it all out for you,” the Physician explained, trying for a helpful sort of tone.

Merlin did not buy it for a second. He offered Gaius a lesser of his beaming smiles - the best he could considering he was dead on his feet. “Thank you, Gaius. That’s a huge weight off my shoulders. I’ll study it first thing tomorrow.”

Gaius just harrumphed and waved Merlin off to bed. For once, Merlin didn’t bother with any more chatter before dragging his tired body up the stairs and onto his pallet.

~x~

Merlin wasn’t paying attention, Arthur noted. Merlin wasn’t paying attention _again_. Instead of watching Arthur’s every move on the practise field, keeping apprised on his progress, monitoring whether or not his prince needed anything as was his _job_ , he was instead… What _was_ he doing? Arthur frowned, _Is that a… **love** letter?!? _he thought furiously, watching with half an eye Merlin burying his nose in a piece of parchment he held in his hand _again_. Arthur, being a Prince, did not notice his manservant’s lack of attention whatsoever. Obviously. No, instead, he kept _his_ attention focused solely on beating the shit out of --- no, no, _training_ , yes, that’s the word. On _training_ his Knights. Which came easier that day, he noted with grim satisfaction. And which, of course, had absolutely nothing to do with the rage that seemed to grow from simmering to straight up boiling when it took Merlin more than three hollers of his name to respond. 

~x~

Merlin kept staring at the piece of parchment Gaius had given him. Something just did not add up. Something in that recipe was bugging Merlin, but for the life of him, he couldn’t figure out what that something was. If only he could have a moment of peace and quiet so he could concentrate and---

“ _ **MER**_ **lin**!” 

Merlin sighed, raised his head and gave his Prince an as unimpressed look as he was capable of. “ _Si_ re?”

There were snickers across the training field, and Merlin winced - he hated it when the knights dared disrespect Arthur so blatantly. Arthur paled, his lips setting into a thin, straight line, and Merlin sighed again - this was _not_ going to end pleasantly. 

"Would you mind, if it's not too much trouble, of course, getting me my water skin, _please_?"

Yeah, Merlin was in _so_ much trouble. Gulping, Merlin nodded quickly and rushed over, lowering his gaze both to appease Arthur and to hide the tiny flash of cooling magic - the day was ridiculously hot and the water in the skins heated up far too fast to stay refreshing after hours on the field.

Arthur didn’t say anything else after tossing the skin back, apart from barking at the knights to resume with the drills. 

After he was done with them, even Merlin felt a little ill, and he had just been watching. There was not a peep following Arthur as the Prince finally called an end to the session and turned towards the citadel.

Biting down a smile, Merlin went after him, already making plans to fetch water for his Prince’s bath before dinner.

“Merlin,” Arthur began as Merlin started on removing his armour.

“Bath before dinner, yes I know,” Merlin hummed quietly, his brows furrowing when a buckle simply refused to cooperate with his fingers.

Arthur blinked. “Y-yes, I…”

“Hah!” Merlin exclaimed gleefully, finally managing to conquer the buckle.

Arthur snorted, his earlier ire forgotten. “Only you, Merlin, only you…”

~x~

“...lin. _Mer_ lin…”

Merlin snorted himself awake, wincing at the clanging sound Arthur’s pauldron made as it clattered to the floor from his lax fingers. 

“Nice nap, _Mer_ lin?” an amused voice asked, and Merlin heaved a sigh.

“I… I really fell asleep. I’m sorry.”

Arthur frowned where he was standing over Merlin’s hunched form, arms crossed across his chest. “Not even an attempt at an excuse? Should I be worried?”

Merlin sighed - _again -_ and shook his head, attempting to wake himself up more. “I’ll just… go finish these off in the armoury. The cold there should keep me awake. If there’s nothing else you require, sire?”

Arthur’s frown deepened at the genuine-ish sounding title. He shook his head mutely and waved Merlin off, making a note to keep a closer eye on his manservant.

~x~

Merlin was _not_ amused. He'd spent the last three nights sneaking out of his quarters after Gaius had fallen asleep and into the library to research his Prince's 'tonic', only to sneak right back in before Geoffrey came in just after dawn. He was operating on a bit of over an hour of sleep a night. And all he had to show for it were big ass black circles under his eyes and almost no results. All he _had_ managed to ascertain was that the tonic? Was not, in fact, a tonic at all. However as to what it _was_ , now that was the question. Merlin was growing more and more frustrated, and the lack of results on top of lack of sleep were not helping.

It had come to a point that even Arthur noticed. Or, more accurately, noticed and _did_ something about it, which was truly a point towards the fact that something was Not All Right.

He put down his fork on the table loudly where he was midway through his lunch and addressed his manservant, worry overshadowing exasperation in his tone a little more than he had liked it to. "Merlin, honestly, you look like you're about to fall asleep where you stand," Arthur huffed, swallowing down the miniscule feeling of hurt that attempted to surface once Arthur realized Merlin had been not paying attention to him, _again._ "What _have_ you been doing lately that's got you this tired?" He also tried to swallow that green little monster that was trying to claw its way out of his throat when Arthur allowed himself a moment to think on what or, more likely, _who_ , it could be that's been keeping Merlin, **his** Merlin, from rest.

Arthur would find them. He would find them and he would end them. Whoever they were, whoever dared---

"...studying."

Merlin's mumbled answer interrupted Arthur's bloodthirsty thoughts and the Prince stumbled with a, very intelligent, "Huh?" 

Merlin tried to roll his eyes, yawned midway instead. "Been doing some extra studying. Medical stuff, you know." When all he got in response was a blank sorta stare, Merlin sighed. "Physician's Apprentice?"

Arthur frowned, got to his feet and motioned for Merlin to follow him. It went to further show just how exhausted Merlin was that he followed without a word. 

Upon reaching his bed, Arthur turned on a heel and gave Merlin a light shove. Merlin, being Merlin, stumbled immediately, made an effort to flail about in an attempt to right himself and collapsed to the bed behind him a moment later. He blinked up at Arthur wearily from where he sat on the bed, lips forming a question already.

Arthur looked at him. _Really_ looked. Merlin looked rather… Not all right. He had deep, dark circles under his eyes, his pallor looking even more pale than usual. Arthur huffed and promptly went to a knee. Merlin's eyes widened to a feast-plate proportions.

"Ar---"

Arthur raised a finger, eyes glinting. "Not. A. Word." He reached for the buckles of Merlin's boot.

"But…" Merlin tried again, feeling so damn wrong-footed it was rather ridiculous.

"Shut _up, Mer_ lin," Arthur hissed, pulled off one boot and went for the other.

Merlin, for once, shut up.

When the boots were wrangled, Arthur stood back up, pulled off Merlin's jacket and pushed him to the bed. "Sleep. I'll wake you later, but for now, you need rest."

Merlin opened his mouth to protest, saw Arthur's eyes narrowing and seemed to rethink the situation. Arthur nodded stiffly and pulled the covers over him. Just as Arthur was turning around after drawing the curtains over the bed, Merlin caught his wrist. 

"Thank you, Sire." He couldn't be quite certain in the dim light behind the covers of Arthur's curtains, but he could have sworn that the Prince blushed.

~x~

To say Merlin was peeved was to put it very, very, _extremely_ mildly. He was furious. Enraged. Damn near out of his mind with worry on top of fuming. That was a bit more accurate.

The reason for such a frazzled state of him was, to the surprise of no one at all, the Crown Prince of Camelot, the one and only, Arthur Pendragon himself. 

Arthur Pendragon, who was supposed to have been back _days_ ago. The patrol was supposed to be so short, so close, that he didn't even take Merlin with him, figuring his manservant could take a morning to sleep in instead. The power nap he had forced upon him almost a week before had done wonders, and since then Arthur had been rather… Reluctant, to see Merlin reduced to his previously exhausted state again. Thus the leaving him to sleep in while he rode out.

Instead of a quick ride that was over and done with before Merlin so much as twitched in the direction of waking, however, here it was, two whole days later, and Arthur was tired and dirty and antsy, feeling, for some reason he could not discern, like there were ants crawling under his skin.

Arthur rode into the courtyard, glancing around, his shoulders loosening imperceptibly as soon as he saw Merlin standing by the steps to the citadel, waiting.

Arthur's lips twitched up, seeing his manservant practically vibrating in place, his eyes like thunder and lightning. He looked, for all intent and purposes, like a very, majorly pissed off alpha. Arthur did a double take against his better judgment - that was ridiculous, he was being ridiculous. Merlin was no alpha. He was just tired. And seeing things. Wishful thinking was not a--- _Wishful thinking?!?_ Arthur physically shook himself off. A hot bath, a solid meal and a goodnight's sleep in his own bed would sort him out. Frowning a little, he jumped off his horse and threw the reins to a stable hand. 

"Merlin, get me a---"

Before he could finish, a pageboy stumbled to a stop in front of him. "Your Highness! His Majesty is requesting your immediate presence!"

And that was that. Stifling a sigh, Arthur leveled Merlin with a Look, hoping for commiseration and sympathy, but instead, Merlin was still glowering at him, eyes furious and arms crossed across his chest. Having no time to deal with him, Arthur just heaved a sigh and turned on his heel - if he knew his father at all, the debrief would take hours. Maybe that would be enough time for Merlin to calm down on his own. And maybe shave too - that stubble would _have_ to go and soon. There was simply no way Arthur was dealing with that on top of everything else. So. Time for Merlin to calm down. And shave. One could only hope.

~x~

Merlin was wound up tighter than a spool of Gwen's yarn by the time he got done enough with the day to get back to his Prince's chambers. He was tense, and it was not just the regular, exasperation-caused tension either. He had been furious with Arthur for leaving him behind, then worried out of his mind when Arthur failed to return day after day, then relieved when his Prince had finally rode into the courtyard, and now he was furious again after Arthur had dismounted, given Merlin one, _one,_ Look and just sauntered off to his father's side. Merlin felt like clawing off his skin. Felt like chaining Arthur up in a tower of his own creation to keep him safe and sound and just _there_.

It was a...strange feeling. Merlin had been protective of Arthur more or less from the start, what with considering what a whirlwind their lives had become from the get go with all the assassination attempts and love magic attempts and all the other rot, but now? Now that feeling had tripled in its intensity and it was making Merlin bristle. 

Sure, he knew Arthur now. He even knew Arthur was his Mate even if he _were_ a beta… It didn't _matter_ , not to Merlin. He never so much as thought of children anyway. All he wanted, all he cared about was Arthur. Safe and happy and alive. Which was very well bloody hard to keep him as when he trotted off alone all willy-nilly!

Merlin slammed a bucket down with a growl, his temper rising up again. Tossing one quick look towards the doors, Merlin waved a hand and with a few mumbled words, the tub he had dragged out into the middle of the chambers started filling up with steaming water. Another quick look made sure that there was a small feast upon the table, awaiting his Prince's return.

Merlin crossed his arms and swept his eyes across the chambers - there _were_ things to clean and straighten up and --- 

And he didn't feel like doing any of them. With a stubborn downpull of his lips, Merlin's eyes flashed, his ire making any words needless, and the doors clicked locked. As soon as that was done, Merlin turned his back to them and with a shuddering breath, his magic _poured_ out of him. It swept over the chambers, cleaning them floors to ceilings; mopping the floors, dusting the surfaces, clearing out and restocking the fireplace, airing the mattress and changing the sheets, wiping the windows and polishing the candlesticks. It strengthened the protections he’d woven into the bricks themselves to make sure his Prince was guarded when he himself was not there to see to it. Finally, after all was done and the outpour of his magic soothed him, even if just a little, Merlin huffed out a breath and collapsed onto a chair by the table, fiddling with a knife Arthur had gifted him.

He twirled it between his fingers expertly and he watched the doors. And he waited.

~x~

The first thing Arthur noticed was the, frankly gleaming, floors. Well, all right, the _first_ first thing he noticed was the fact that the doors to his chambers were locked. And they were only ever locked if no one - meaning either him or Merlin - was in. Arthur frowned; he had hoped to see his manservant as soon as possible.

Upon stepping foot inside and taking a look around, the Prince did a double take - there his Merlin sat, right at the table, twirling his knife between his fingers.

“Well… I’ll have to let you sleep in more often, if this is the result,” Arthur tried for amused, swallowing around the stone that seemed to be stuck in his throat.

Merlin stood up slowly, his knife disappearing between one blink and the next. He stepped up to Arthur, still silent, and, in all honesty, freaking Arthur out a little.

He reached up, movements still slow, measured and began taking Arthur’s armour off piece by piece. 

“If you ever,” he began speaking then, voice soft and so cold it sent shivers down the Prince’s spine, “ _ever_ leave without me again, I swear by all the gods there are, I _will_ make you regret it, Arthur.” 

Arthur gaped. There was insubordination and then there was blatant threatening of the royal person. Before he could manage to unscramble his brain enough to respond, however, he found himself naked and herded, rather roughly, mind, towards the bath that was steaming in the middle of his chambers.

“I---” he tried, but Merlin’s hand splayed between his shoulderblades felt like a brand, scrambling the meager brain power he had managed to recover.

“In.” 

He should be reprimanding him. Should be sending him to the stocks for such blatant disrespect immediately.

Arthur got into the bath. He had no idea what was _wrong_ with him. But something had to be. Otherwise… No, there was no otherwise. This close to panicking, Arthur threw his gaze around, looking for something, anything else to focus on apart from his manservant and the strangeness surrounding him.

“Bath oil,” he blurted, pulling his knees up to wrap his arms around them. Merlin froze where he was just placing the heated stones into the sheets by the foot of Arthur’s bed to warm it.

“What.”

Arthur did _not_ flinch. He didn’t. He was a Pendragon, and Pendragons did _not_ flinch. “You forgot my bath oil,” he repeated, voice far more subdued than usual. Arthur could have smacked himself - what was _happening_ to him?!?

Merlin snorted. “Of course, because gods forbid you go without your blasted bath oil for one night.”

“In case it’d escaped your notice, _Mer_ lin, I forewent a bath entirely for almost three days as I’ve not been home.” As soon as the words left his mouth, Arthur’s eyes fell closed and he wished, prayed even, for them to come back. Maybe Merlin hadn’t heard---

The words, when they came, could have frozen over a lake in how icy the tone they were delivered in was. “In case it escaped my notice. Oh sure. Why would I _possibly_ notice the lack of you. Why would I _possibly_ notice ---”

Before he could truly go into what Arthur was sure was going to a rant of epic proportions, the Prince interrupted him. “Yes well, the oil then? I need it.”

Merlin huffed, already walking over to the cabinet that housed various vials collected over time. “And why’s that? Afraid your skin won’t be supple enough without it, _sire_?”

Arthur felt himself flushing crimson before scowling and tossing an irritated glance over his shoulder. “If you must know, Gaius says it’s good for me.”

Merlin snorted again, shaking his head. “You fancy ass royals with your fancy ass bath oils. Bloody privileged lot, the lot of you! Acting as if you’d perish without some stinking oil in your bloody bath! Every. Damn. Night, too! By the gods!” Merlin snarled, twirled around, the vial clutched tightly in his hand. He stormed over to the fireplace, taking deep breaths of the fire, concentrating on the flames and just… breathing. He felt rage filling up his lungs, his blood was boiling, his vision sparking, he couldn’t concentrate, couldn’t focus, what was _happening_ to him…

“Merlin?” 

Arthur’s voice permeated the fog clouding his mind then, sounding far too meek, far too subdued, and that was _wrong_ too… “What?” Merlin forced through gritted teeth, tasting blood - his fangs had descended, good gods, what was going _on_.

“The… the oil?”

Merlin stalked back to the bath, ready to pour the damn oil right on Arthur’s annoying head when ---

The scent hit him with a wagon of bricks. Merlin froze, his eyes closing on their own accord. He took a deep inhale - the air smelled clean, his magic had done a very thorough job, so there was nothing to mask the scent. There was clean, fresh air, there was hot, steamy bath water and there was… _Arthur_.

Merlin moved before making a conscious decision to do so. In between one blink and the next, he was stood by the bath, his hands on Arthur’s forearms as he pulled his Prince straight up.

“Merlin!” Arthur yelped, thrown completely off guard, only to freeze when his manservant pulled him in and buried his nose in the crook of Arthur’s neck, paying no mind to the fact Arthur was dripping wet and was very successfully soaking Merlin’s entire wardrobe. “Wha---” Arthur started, trying to articulate a question, but then Merlin took a deep breath, running his nose alongside Arthur’s neck and Arthur, to his great horror, _whimpered_.

Merlin froze, his muscles tensing and then locking in place entirely. Arthur didn’t dare so much as breathe. Before he could situate himself, Merlin was shoving him away, stumbling backwards and shaking his head as if trying to dislodge… something.

“I…” his voice came out hoarse, deeper than usual, “I have to… go,” he mumbled finally, taking shaky backward steps towards the door.

Arthur, who was still standing frozen in his bath feeling like if he so much as twitched his knees would give out, just nodded, not that Merlin noticed.

Without another word, Merlin fled, the door clicking with finality behind him.

Arthur stood until the evening’s air forced his skin to get goosebumps and then collapsed right back into the bath. Finding the vial that had sunk to the bottom of the bath, he added the few required drops reflexively and then stayed inside the water until it went cold.

~x~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments are life and give me strength.  
> xoxo

**Author's Note:**

> comments feed my starving soul and make me type faster~  
> xoxoxo


End file.
